Human Days Are Back Again
by Strawberry4evr
Summary: Edward is turned human by another vampire. The Cullens have a hard time dealing with this, especially after Edward contracts another deadly disease... But maybe a certain girl can help him through it.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you _always_ have to play with your food?" Jasper drawls, landing lithely on the boulder not three feet away. I grin and laugh as the bear takes another swipe at my chest.

"It's revenge brother," I reply, growling back at the grizzly. It looks stunned for a minute before roaring and taking another swipe at me. A screeching sound meets our ears as his claws scrape across my marble chest. I laugh again. "Also, the bear reminds me of your wife whenever someone tries to pin her as the youngest."

My brother laughs at that thought. "It's not true though," He says. "Carlisle determined she was nineteen when she was changed, and she was changed in 1917. Edward is the youngest."

"Hmmm," I mutter. "Maybe this bear reminds me of Edward when we pin _him_ as the youngest."

As I say this, the bear roars again, and I roar back before pouncing. Warm blood fills my mouth and covers my senses. Jasper wisely keeps quiet and still as I feed, knowing that if he moved closer in any way my instincts might take over and I might attack him by accident. Once I'm done I throw the corpse away and turn back to my older brother. "Should we head back?"

"We should wait for Edward," Jasper suggests. I shake my head no.

"No," I whine. "He's probably on some run three hundred miles away. I want to go home; we've been gone for two weeks. I miss my wife. Don't you miss yours? Eddie'll catch up, and it's not like he has someone to go home to."

"Fine," Jasper concedes. "Race ya."

He leaps from the boulder and sprints away. I smirk before catching up, being only slightly faster than him. Having hunted quite close to home, it's not long before we're standing outside of it... and crashing into Carlisle's car. We step back with guilty expressions while Carlisle continues to drive into the garage like he would have if we hadn't just dented his car. Our father steps out of the Mercedes and sighs, examining the dent. "You're lucky I don't love my car like you lot do. Where's your brother?"

"Who knows?" I grin. "He doesn't have a wife to get back to. We do. We want to see them. Bye!"

I turn and leave my brother and father in the dust, running to find my wife. "Rosie!" I shout, taking the stairs two at a time. She meets me at the top, smiling before she kisses me.

"Welcome home," My wife smiles, pulling me into our room.

A few hours later I'm sitting with my family downstairs, bar Edward. He's still not back, and Esme is begining to get worried. Jasper is too, and he feels guilty that we didn't wait for him. I roll my eyes as Carlisle begins looking towards the front door, waiting for our little brother. "He'll be fine," I say from my place on the floor, playing chess with Jazz. "Ed's probably just running."

"Probably," Carlisle mutters, turning back to his book with a worried expression. I roll my eyes again.

After another few hours it's dark again, and our little brother still isn't home. I have to admit that we're all worried now, even Rosalie and I. Jasper and Carlisle are most worried. It's obvious, especially as Edward is the youngest. If the rest of us were to go missing like this, no one would worry as much. But as Jasper is the older brother, and by comparison I am the little brother, we decided a long time ago that Edward is the _baby _brother, forever trapped under the guidance of all four of his older siblings. _  
_

At around three in the morning it begins to snow, and we all grin at the same time. First, because it's snow and it's great and we bloody love January. Second, because it means Edward will be home soon. He's never particularly liked the snow.

An hour and a half later it's still dark, and Edward still isn't home. "That's it," Carlisle announces, standing from the sofa. "I'm going to look for him."

"We'll come too," Jasper and I say, standing and following him. The girls decide to stay at home. Well, we force them to incase Edward has had a run in with a nomad and the vampire's still hanging around.

As we have to go through some grounds that humans may be camping in, we pull on our coats and grab some torches. We won't use them most of the time, but just in case some humans are around it's good to have them.

"Edward!" We call both mentally and physically, walking slowly so we don't miss him. "Edward!"

"Come on buddy!" I call, getting more worried as he doesn't answer. "It's not funny anymore."

"I'll go west," Carlisle says before running off in some direction. I assume it's west; I was never good at geography.

"I'll go that way, but I'll be close," Jazz states before running off in another direction. I continue in the direction we were all going, calling for my little brother.

I growl in frustration as he doesn't answer again. "Edward!" I shout, louder this time, and finally I hear an answer.

"Emmet.," It's far away, and it's almost a whimper. But it's there, and it's Edward's voice. Jasper's at my side immediately, staring at me with wide eyes. He heard it too. "Emmett!" We hear it again, slightly louder, but still a whimper.

It's still snowing quite lightly, but suddenly it seems a lot heavier as we battle through it to get to our brother. Suddenly the scent of blood assaults us, but it's smells like Edward. What the hell?

Finally we find him. He's lying on his front on the thick blanket of snow, _blood_ surrounding him. We run around him as he's facing away from us, and we're shocked by what we see.

**Jasper's POV**

Our little brother is lying broken in the snow. A thin blanket of it covers him, and dried blood is matting his hair. Blood is still trickling from his neck and _tears are covering his face_. "You left me," He whispers. "They left me. They left me to die."

"Edward," Emmett breaths, kneeling in the snow and placing one hand on our brother's head. His eyes widen at the heat I can feel coming from him. They widen even more as we register the heart beat that is gradually slowing down. "Who did this to you?"

"A vampire," Is the weak reply. "They were hungry, and they can make people human. They made me human. They bit me. It _hurts._"

Edward's _human_? What the hell?! But we have no time to register it properly as he lets out a small cry of pain. He's not even looking towards us, and as I take his head in my hands and force him to look at me. They are a dark, forest green. The colour our father described when he told us his side of Edward's story. His eyes are tired as he glances at me, and they slowly begin to close. Even if I'm not human, I know how dangerous it is of he goes to sleep now considering how much blood he's lost and how cold he is. "Give me you coat," I order Emmett and he complies immediately as I rip mine off and put both of them on our brother. "He's not going to make it; we're too far out. You're going to have to bite him."

"Me?!"

"You think I have enough control to?!" I shout back, and he grimaces in understanding before leaning down and carefully biting Edward's neck. I pull Emmett off after a few seconds just to make sure he doesn't drain him. We wait a minute for the screaming to start, and when it doesn't I examine the bite. The venom is leaking out of it. _His body is rejecting the venom_. "Get Carlisle!" I cry, and Emmett's gone immediately.

"Edward," I murmur, shaking him. His eyes open slowly, and more tears fall from them. "You have to stay awake, okay? If you go to sleep you might not wake up."

"But I'm tired," He rasps out, and his eyes close again. Thankfully he seems to be fighting to keep them open.

**_"CARLISLE!"_**I hear in the distance, and even though Emmett's at least a mile out, I wince at the volume. There's no way Carlisle didn't hear that. I'm right; as suddenly there are two pairs of feet making their way towards us and Emmett is explaining everything. I feel the shock and anger radiating off Carlisle. Emmett even tells him that the venom didn't work. More shock.

"Oh my God," Our father murmurs, seeing Edward for the first time. He immediately takes his coat off and wraps Edward in it before gingerly lifting him into his arms. "We have to get him home."

He begins running, and we struggle to catch up. After a couple of minutes Carlisle seems to be at least half a mile ahead of us, and Emmett glances at me with wide eyes; our father has always been slower than us. "He's being a father," I realise out loud and understanding crosses my brother's face. "He's protecting his child."

Only a mile away from home, we stop running. Carlisle is miles ahead now, running with abandon. His fathering instincts are growing by the second. That's why we don't want to be home with him if he's too late.

"How is he?" Emmett and I ask quietly as we enter the house. It's been one or two hours since we found our brother.

All the girls are in the living room, and we can hear a steady beep coming from Carlisle's office. It's the monitor showing Edward's heart beat. I breath a sigh of relief. "Carlisle said he's stable," Rosalie whispers, then she buries her face in her hands, sobbing tearlessly. Emmett goes to her side immediately, wrapping her in his arms tightly. "I can't believe this happened."

"It's okay," Emmett soothes as I pull Alice into my arms, taking Esme's hand at the same time. "It's going to be okay. He'll be okay."

He's lying. We all know he is. Because Edward isn't going to be okay. He is going to get sick. He is going to fall in and out of love. He is going to make friends. He is going to break bones and fall over and join clubs and this will be the last time he goes to high school. He is going to grow old, and he is going to die. He will hate the fact he is ageing, and he will leave us. He is not going to be okay, and neither are we.


	2. Chapter 2

**This turned out a lot longer than the last chapter... It's because of the angst; I can't help myself. XD**

**Carlisle's POV **

Edward's been asleep on and off for almost a week now, which is normal for patients who lose a lot of blood. But I never thought I would be applying that to one of my children. Since we found him in the forest, I'm the only one who's seen him. Esme and the children don't want to see him so broken again, and I suspect the scent of his blood is hard on all of them.

"Oh my God," I turn to see Emmett standing in the open doorway of mine and Esme's room, staring down at Edward and I.

"Are you alright, son?" I inquire as he comes to sit in front of Edward, who is lying on the bed.

"Is _he_?" Emmett whispers, and I close my eyes, sighing softly.

"He will be," I answer, but I'm not so sure.

Emmett reaches out and runs his hand through his brother's hair gently, then he looks closer at his face. "_Is he growing stubble?" _

"Yes," I smile slightly, but it's sad. It's a sign of ageing, which means he might not have much time left. Luckily, he doesn't seem to be ageing any faster than a normal human.

"He looks older," Emmett comments, tilting his head slightly. "He looks like he's twenty now, and all because he has facial hair and bags under his eyes."

I nod, looking away from them. It's true; Edward does look older.

"Em'et," Edward sighs, opening his eyes slightly. "Wh't h'ppen'd?"

"You were attacked," Emmett replies quietly. "He turned you human and took your blood, but you're okay now."

"I'm human?!" Edward begins to sit up, but I rise from my chair and push him back down gently. He's no longer attached to any wires, so he could move if he wanted but he does need rest. "You need rest, son."

"No," He mutters, attempting to sit again. "I need to move. Everything aches. I think the last time I felt like this was when I fell down the stairs and hit my head at the bottom when I was fifteen. It's one of the one things I remember." He runs his hands down his face, then, and feels the stubble lining his jaw. His eyes widen as he looks at me and Emmett in turn, scraping his fingernails across his face. "Oh my God," He mutters, jumping up and running into the bathroom connected to our room. He limps as he does. "Oh my God!" He says a bit louder, and I hear a few pairs of feet making their way up the stairs.

Emmett gives me questioning look before we follow Edward into the bathroom. He's gripping the sink hard, keeping himself up right as his legs are shaking with the exertion, and he's staring into the mirror above the sink in shock. "Dude," Emmett laughs. "Did you never get facial hair as a human?"

Edward laughs a little bit too, not looking away from his reflection. "If I did my mother shaved it off in my sleep."

My wife smiles as she steps into the room and gently takes our son's face in her hands. "Are you okay, honey?"

He smiles as best he can, trying to look strong for us, but we can all tell he's not taking this well. "I'm okay, Esme. Or, I will be, at least. Right now I'm just trying to enjoy the quiet of my own thoughts, and no one else's."

Everyone chuckles at that, and Emmett leads his brother down the stairs. I have to leave for the night shift at the hospital then, but all day I'm distracted. "Cullen," Doctor Wells greets me at one point. "Are you okay? I've been trying to get your attention for a while. You're needed in A&amp;E. One of your patients has just arrived. Her father says she's taken a turn for the worst."

"Sorry," I reply, making my way across the hospital to A&amp;E. "I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Are you okay?" He inquires, actually looking concerned.

I sigh quietly. "Yes, but one of my sons had an accident when he and his brothers went hiking last weekend. They were just entering a town to stop for the night after calling us as they were a few miles out when he tripped and hit his head. He lost quite a lot of blood, but they didn't realise just how much blood he did lose and just went to a motel. I had to pick them up when he wouldn't wake up, but he's getting better. The rest helped him recover from the blood loss."

"You didn't give him a transfusion?"

"After we got some food into him he didn't need it. He lost enough that it made him drowsy but not enough that it was dangerous."

This is a lie. He lost a lot of blood. Luckily I could practically smell his blood type and had some in the store we keep for emergencies. He did need several transfusions.

"Which of your kids was this?" He inquires after a moment.

"My youngest," I answer. "Edward."

He inhales sharply as we enter A&amp;E. "That must be tough. Micheal!" He greets his patient with kindness and walks over to him, while I walk over to mine, grabbing a stretcher with urgency as I spot her across the room.

"Here," I say to her father, and Charlie Swan quickly lowers his teenage daughter onto the stretcher. Some other doctors come over and help me wheel her away.

Bella Swan has had lung cancer since she was five. From what I've heard her mother left the state a month after she was diagnosed, claiming she 'couldn't handle it', leaving her husband to juggle being the police chief and looking after a terminally ill five year old who could honestly die any day, on his own. That was one of the few things that have ever made me genuinely angry.

Apparently Charlie calls Renee - Bella's mother - every time something happens but she never shows any interest. In fact I've seen and heard it happen. She even remarried a few years ago, and from what she told Charlie her new husband doesn't even know Bella exists. Renee doesn't have any trace of her in her house.

We manage to remove a litre and a half of liquid from Bella's lungs, as she was brought in after being woken up by a raging headache which was too much for her to bear. The headache was caused by not enough oxygen going to her brain due to the liquid in her lungs. She's asleep now, and as usual, her father is at her side. But I'm not sure who's shocked more, me or Charlie, that a few hours later, a woman who looks quite a bit like Bella, runs into the hospital.

"What are you doing here?" Charlie hisses, standing to look at her.

She ignores him, instead turning to me. "Who are you?" She asks, looking a little but haughty, but her eyes are critical.

"Her doctor..." I say slowly, as if I'm talking to a child, which I feel like I am. I'm checking the wires attached to Bella, who is asleep, I'm wearing a white coat and I have a pin that says 'Doctor Cullen' on it. Who else would I be?

Charlie snorts, smiling at me slightly. I nod to him. "Doctor Cullen," Doctor Wells says, entering the room. "Your son - Jasper, I think? - is on the phone. He says he needs to talk to you... Renee!" He exclaims, spotting the woman standing next to me. "This is a surprise! What are you... doing here?"

"I'm here to see my daughter," She replies, sighing. "Charlie called and said she had another headache." She turns to her ex-husband. "And to tell him to stop calling me just because she has a headache."

"Actually," I interrupt. "It was more than a headache. We just removed over a litre of water from her lungs."

She sighs, and Doctor Wells grabs my shoulder and leads me from the room. "Best not get involved. I live near them; their arguments used to be messy, especially after Bella was diagnosed. I'll stay with them; go call your son."

Stepping away from the room I pull out my phone and dial Jasper's number. "You called, son?" I say.

"Oh Carlisle," He breathes, but his very breath seems to shake, as does his voice as he continues. "Thank God. Something's happened. Edward was just playing video games with Emmett and I guess Emmett forgot somehow but..." I'm already walking to my Mercedes, but what he says next makes me stop. "He clapped Edward on the back, like normal strength. I know it usually hurts a little bit for us but with Edward... He's hunched over, and he's breathing heavy. I think Emmett shattered the bone in his shoulder, and I can feel the pain coming from him. It's hard for him to move at all."

I stop, and I think for a moment. They will have to bring him to the hospital, as I don't have the equipment to treat it at home. But if they bring him to hospital they may need blood samples, or want them, and I can't afford to take the risk that his blood won't be normal. He has just been a vampire for almost a century after all. "Bring him to hospital," I decide, the thought of my son being in pain making the decision for me. "Don't let him sit back in the car, don't let him put any weight on his back."

I hear Edward moan in the background, and Jasper disconnects the call. "Doctor Wells," I say urgently, striding into Bella's room. Renee is gone, and I suspect she left before Bella woke up as the teenager doesn't seem distressed at all as she looks over at me.

"What's wrong?" Charlie and Doctor Wells ask in unison, and Bella looks up in alarm. I'm quick to calm them.

"You are okay Bella," I say to both her and Charlie quietly. "What's happened with you is just another thing. We can get through it. You're going to be on bed rest for a couple of days, but you're going to be okay. Doctor Wells," I turn to him again. "I called Jasper. Something happened at home and Edward has hurt it shoulder and he's finding it hard to move at all. Could you cover for me?"

"Of course," He says, looking slightly alarmed himself. "Are they bringing him in?"

"Yes," I answer. "They'll be here in a few minutes."

Just as I say this I hear someone say my name in the waiting room. Rushing out with Charlie and Doctor Wells, I see Esme and Jasper with Edward cradled in Emmett's arms, looking as though he is about to pass out from the pain. "We need to get him x-rayed," I tell them, taking Edward from Emmett. His shoulder is too far forward, and it looks as though his arm is at a strange angle.

The bone is shattered, and I'm sure even Doctor Wells can tell. "You'll probably have to take him to surgery," He informs me as I turn to him. I nod, carrying my son to a stretcher.

A few hours later, it's morning and my shift ended a while ago, but I find myself checking Bella's vitals. Edward has just come out of surgery, as the bone in his shoulder was completely shattered. I'm not allowed to see him yet as for him I'm classed as family and not a doctor, which is fair enough. After a moment I go and join Esme and my other two sons in the waiting room.

Luckily, however, Doctor Wells is Edward's doctor, and he's allowing me to see Edward earlier than most parents would. "Carlisle," He says softly, and Esme and I look up. "You can see him, but he's still asleep and will be for a while. I've also been asked to remind you that your shift ended a couple of hours ago."

I nod, standing with Esme's hand clasped in mine. "Stay here," I murmur to Emmett and Jasper. "I'll come and get you in a couple of minutes."

**Jasper's POV**

Emmett and I watch as our parents disappear into the depths of the hospital. Guilt is radiating from my brother, and I gently send a wave of calm to him. "Thanks," He murmurs, but his guilt doesn't subside.

"You best call Rosalie," I tell him, patting his knee. "She'd like to know he's out of surgery. And get some sleep, we'll have to go to school soon."

The second part is just for show, as to everyone else we probably haven't slept for almost twenty four hours. As I say this, I pretend to let my eyelids droop slightly, leaning back in my chair. I hear Emmett pull out his phone next to me and text Rosalie before he too leans back. To the human eye, we're asleep in minutes.

A door opens down the hall, and Esme's scent wafts towards us. As she spots us - supposedly asleep - she chuckles softly before calling for our father too low for any human to hear. The door opens again, and Carlisle's quiet laugh greets our ears. "Shall we wake them?" Esme says so humans can hear. Always keeping up appearances.

"I'm sure they'd like to see Edward before they go to school," Carlisle replies, and he walks towards us.

"Son," He whispers, gently shaking my shoulder. I feel concern rolling off the woman sitting next to me, and I can tell she's watching us. "Jasper."

I groan softly and bat him away, trying not to smile. Carlisle chuckles, shaking me again. "Jazz, you need to wake up if you want to see Edward, and you need to go home and get changed anyway."

Moaning slightly, I sit up slowly, rubbing my eyes. I look over and I find Esme shaking with amusement as Emmett still appears to be asleep. As I begin to stand up he lets out a loud snore that rings throughout the waiting room. Those that were actually asleep wake with a start and stare at us. "Every morning!" Esme sighs for effect, and the lady next to me gives her a sympathetic look.

"Let's leave him for now," Carlisle suggests, laughing gently. "He can see Edward later."

"I'm up!" Emmett shouts suddenly, making every single person, including my parents and I, jump. He sits up quickly, stretching. "Where's Ed?"

"Down the hall. Room 211," Carlisle tells him, and immediately he is running down the hall. I get up as humanely as I can, and run after him. Our parents laugh at us, and allow us to have a moment alone with our brother. He's asleep the entire time, but I like to think that he knows we're there for him.

**Carlisle's POV - 3 months later**

After months of healing Edward's arm is finally almost completely healed, but recently he's been taking more time off school for another reason. He's tired all the time, almost as pale as us and feels aches in his joints. He bruises easier than a normal human and he keeps getting nosebleeds. I know these symptoms. The moment I discovered the extensive bruising down his back from when he'd been knocked down in gym (or so he and Jasper told me), I knew that it wasn't normal. I am hoping that it is just his body rebuilding an immune system after almost a century of not needing one. I hope that's all it is, but I am taking him to the hospital for blood tests, just in case. The others don't understand, and I don't explain. I don't want to worry them for nothing.

Because it _is_ nothing. I'm sure.

"Its alright, son," I tell him as Doctor Wells inserts the needle to take the blood. As his father I'm not legally allowed to treat him, but thankfully Doctor Wells is his appointed doctor and has allowed me to sit with him.

"Why are we doing this again?" Edward asks, his voice quivering as he watches his own blood travel through the clear tube. Its a sight I didn't think either of us would ever see.

Doctor Wells chuckles. "Your overprotective, paranoid, dad here, just wants to make sure you're all okay, especially after what happened with your shoulder a few months back."

My son grins at me suddenly, and I lean further back in my chair. "Esme told you!" He exclaimed. "You're _way_ too overprotective." He turns to Doctor Wells. "Did you know that he wouldn't let us get a dog just because Jasper sneezed after coming in contact with one in the park?"

Doctor Wells raises his eyebrow at me, while still monitoring Edward's blood loss.

This is partially true. I didn't let them have a dog because Jasper bared his teeth at one in the park, but I go along with it. "No," I tell him. "I didn't let you have a dog because I knew you'd lose interest in a week and Esme and I would end up looking after it." I look back at Edward, and decide to humour him. "Plus Jasper's eyes were irritated." Edward and Doctor Wells laugh as the needle is removed.

"We'll get the results to you as soon as we can," Doctor Wells tells Edward and me kindly. We both know this, but it's standard procedure. As it's a small town we don't get many blood tests done, so it shouldn't take too long.

In fact, it only takes two weeks.

I've been keeping Edward from school for the past two weeks. As much as Esme enjoys having him at home, she is concerned that I am keeping him home for no reason. She has visited me in the hospital, and is trying to ask me why. "Carlisle," She hisses as I continue down the hall. "You need to tell me what's going on!"

I don't turn to her. I continue walking. "I can't, Esme. I don't want to worry you."

"Well you _are_ worrying me!" She cries, trying to catch up to me while looking human. "You're worrying all of us! What is going on?!"

"Doctor Cullen!" Doctor Wells calls, saving me. "Thank God you're both here," He says, smiling at Esme. "I need to talk to you."

Despite his smile, he is troubled, and I'm sure it's not good news. We follow him to his office, and sit in the two chairs in front of his desk. He stands in front of us, leaning against his desk. "Carlisle," He says softly, and my shoulders slump. It's bad news. I know what news it is. "I think you know."

Esme looks between us with a confused expression. My jaw sets. "No," I say stubbornly. "I don't."

Doctor Wells is pitying me, I can tell. He knows I know, and he knows I don't want to believe it. "Carlisle," He repeats, leaning forward slightly. Then, he says three words that I never thought I'd hear in relation to one of my children. "Acute Myeloid Leukemia."

"What?!" Esme exclaims as I close my eyes and rest my elbows on my knees, burying my head in my hands. I want to cry, but I can't. Not now. Not here, at least.

I look up, and they're both staring at me with concern. "This is what you were hiding?" Esme whispers, looking as though she is about to cry.

"I didn't want to worry you," I tell her, trying to bite back a sob. I can feel it rising in my throat. "In case it was nothing." I lower my head into my hands again. "I wanted it to be nothing."

"I think you should take today off, at least," Doctor Wells tells me. "I'll explain the situation. Go home. Tell Edward. We'll talk about treatment another day."

Esme nods and pulls me from my seat, and the next thing I know we are in my Mercedes and she is driving us home. I can't process anything. I can't remember getting here. My son is dying. My son is dying. We are pulling up at the house. We are getting out the car. My son is dying.

The other kids are already home, and even Esme is surprised as I walk straight past all four of them and go straight to Edward's room. He is sitting at his desk, reading. I have to tell him now, or I won't tell him at all. "Son," I say quietly, and he looks up, frowning at me.

"You're too quiet," He tells me, placing his book down on the desk. Esme comes in behind me, and shuts the door with a soft _click_.

"We need to talk to you," I say, trying not to let any emotion other than calm leak into my voice. Esme and I take a seat on his bed.

"Is it about my blood tests?" Edward asks, spinning around in his chair to face us. We stay silent, and I know Esme will be unable to tell him without breaking down.

But I'm not sure I can tell him, either.

Edward's face pales even more than it already has over the past few weeks. The silence grows until Esme bites her lip and looks down, biting back sobs. Edward nods to himself, and reaches out to take her hand. She looks up at him, sadness clouding her eyes. "I'm dying?" Edward guesses and we both let go of the breath we didn't know we were holding, but everyone else's breath catches as they sit listening downstairs. "Aren't I?"

"Acute Myeloid Leukemia," I tell him, and he nods, seeming to acccept it. He lets go of his mother's hand and leans back in his chair, a strange calm settling over the room as, finally, the truth is out.

It doesn't last long.

"FOR THE LOVE OF _GOD_!" Edward roars suddenly, standing abruptly from his seat and sending it flying towards the wall behind him. His breathing is heavy and no one dares to breath until he does something. Esme and I are frozen.

"Edward..?" I ask quietly, as not to startle him. He turns to me then, and his eyes are wild.

"It's not fair," He hisses, standing over me. "It's. Not. Fair. I was meant to get eternity, Carlisle, eternity!"

"I know, son," I whisper, but he doesn't listen, and only continues.

"No, you don't know," He reassures me, and I grimace. "I was meant to get forever! You don't know what it feels like to be promised an eternity, only to be told by you, again, that I'm dying of an illness, again, and there's no way to save me, _again_!" _  
_

"We don't know if it's terminal-" I begin, but he interrupts me.

"Yeah, but what happens if I do get cured? What happens then? Because there is no way in _hell_ I am staying here once I look older than Esme. You can't turn me into a vampire Carlisle! What happens if I get hit by a car?! Or struck by lightning?! Or the cancer comes back?!" He stops to take a breath, and for a moment he is silent. But then he turns to me. "Snap my neck," He demands.

Esme is horrified, but she has nothing on me. "What?!" I splutter.

"Go on," Edward encourages, standing in front of me and exposing his neck to me. "Snap it! I thought vampires weren't afraid of anything! Or maybe I should just slit one of my wrists and go downstairs! I'm sure Jasper would help me out." He is standing straight now, and pacing. Only we can see that he's already wearing down the carpet. "Or maybe even Emmett or one of the girls if there's enough blood, because I am _sick_ and _tired_ of being the one who dies because of some illness. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not _FAIR_!"

He reaches out and punches the wall, and we all cringe as we hear his knuckle crack as it comes in contact with the plaster. I stand then, pulling him towards me to stop him hurting himself more. As I turn him around he has tears in his eyes, and suddenly he is hiding his face in my chest as I hug him to me. "It's not fair," He sobs. "It just not fair."

"I know, son," I sniff back, trying not to cry myself. "And I cannot tell you how sorry I am."


	3. Chapter 3

Edward continues to cry for almost an hour, and after about ten minutes I can hear the kids downstairs getting restless. Esme leaves the room then, to comfort the others, as I can hear Alice crying too. After a moment or two Edward leans back slightly and sees the wet patch on my shirt that his tears caused, and he tries to remove himself from my grasp. But I gently pull him towards me again. "No, son," I whisper, resting my cheek on his head. He is still crying. "It's just a shirt. It's just a shirt."

Somehow this makes him cry harder, and I look up to God as I sit us both down on the bed and begin rocking him back and forth as he sits in my lap. I ask Him to give us strength in this time. I ask him to spare my son; as I asked him to spare the Masens in the beginning of 1918, before Elizabeth made her plea.

_Is this my punishment?_ I ask Him silently. _For cheating others out of death? For cheating death myself? I am sorry. I am so sorry, but please, please, don't take it out on my son. I know he has killed. I know he has made mistakes. But please don't take him from us. Please don't take him from _me.

As I pray I am glad Edward can't hear my thoughts anymore. He has never believed in God and thought that my continued belief in Him was ridiculous. I never judged him for that, and I know that even though he didn't agree with my beliefs, he never judged me, either. In fact I think the only time he ever judged me was when I changed Rosalie for him. He thought I was mad and had no problem telling me that.

After an hour of crying sleep claims him, and I run my thumbs over his cheeks to dry them before I lay him completely on the bed and pull the blankets over him. I kiss his forhead once before standing and realising that I do have other children, and they, and Esme, will need me too. Taking one last look at him I make my way downstairs. The others look up as I reach the last few steps. Silently, I take my seat next to Esme.

"He'll get better, won't he?" Alice inquires with wide eyes, and I just look at her sadly before answering.

"Considering how long he's gone without needing an immune system," I begin. "And considering how much of his immune system was defeated by the influenza before I changed him... I don't think he will get better... No."

"But he was only diagnosed today!" Jasper argues, and I shake my head.

"I've been noticing these symptoms for at least a month," I tell them, and Jasper's face falls. "The best we can do is try to prolong his life for as long possible, and give him the most comfortable... end... as we can."

"So there's no hope?" Rosalie whispers, and Emmett wraps his arms around her.

"Of course there's hope," I mutter. "It's just... Edward might not believe that, and we have to make sure he does." I stand, trying to smile but failing miserably. "I'm going into work. I want to discuss Edward's treatment with Doctor Wells."

When I reach the hospital it seems that the news has spread; one of the perfect, elusive, Cullen children is dangerously ill, and Doctor Cullen is on the verge of a breakdown. I don't know where the second part came from... Or maybe I do, as I look into a dark window I'm reflected back at myself. My hair is a mess; there are dark circles under my eyes; there is still a wet patch on my shoulder from Edward's crying and I'm arriving at the hospital at midnight, only a few hours since I was told my son has cancer.

"Carlisle!" Doctor Wells exclaims, looking at me like I'm mad. I run my hands thorugh my hair, trying to flatten it. "What are you doing here?"

Other doctors in the waiting room and the receptionist are looking at me with concern. As I look at him I realise how ridiculous it was to come here and discuss Edward's treatment; Doctor Wells' shift is ending and we've already made an appointment for later in the day to discuss the treatment with both Esme and Edward there. I smile slightly, and laugh, running a hand down my face. "I don't actually know," I tell him, shrugging. He sighs slightly, looking very, very concerned. "I'll just go."

"Wait," He says, and I stop. "Are you alright?"

"Healthy as a horse," I reply, smiling. I then gesture to the wet patch on my shoulder. "We told Edward, and the rest of the kids."

"How did he take it?"

"He's upset."

"Are you?"

"I'm fine."

"I don't believe you."

I huff, and start walking towards the exit again. "I'll see you tomorrow," I call over my shoulder.

"Right, for Edward's appointment," He says.

"And for Bella's," I correct. He looks confused. "Bella Swan has an appointment tomorrow. I'm her doctor."

"Oh, no no no no," He laughs slightly. "You're not working tomorrow, or any other day for the rest of the week. I'll take care of Bella."

"I'm working tomorrow," I say forcefully, and I notice that a few people are walking towards me. To restrain me, I guess. Their instincts must be screaming. "Bella is _my_ patient. And now that I have first hand experience I can relate to the family better, no?"

"Edward will most likely be okay," He tries to reassure me. "Bella is dying, and will die, it's hardly as if-"

"Did you know," I reply in a quiet voice, my tone deadly calm. He stops talking and pales immediately. "That I have had to watch each and every one of my children dying? Once, Emmett went out hiking and got attacked by a bear. Rosalie had to drag him back to the house and for hours and hours we thought he wouldn't make it. Jasper was so heavily abused by his previous guardians that it took him _months_ to open up to us, and when he did his previous guardian tracked him and down and had him beaten to the point of death. We barely got to him in time. The fear and pain in my daughter's face was something I never want to see again. Just before we adopted Rosalie, I was her doctor, as I had been on my way home when I found her beaten and bleeding on the side of the road. And Edward... Edward, the first I adopted. His mother begged me to save him, to adopt him once I made him better. They were all dying of viral pnuemonia, and his parents didn't make it. When he got better, and how he did I still don't know, it felt like I had to watch him dying all over again as he grieved for them. I _know_ what it's like, to have to watch someone you love coughing up blood and not being able to stop it, I _know_ what it's like to watch someone you love dying in a hospital bed, because I have seen it all before. Now, I have to go through it again and I am fully aware that with Edward's medical history there isn't much chance of his survival, and he is just as aware as I am. So please, _please_ don't tell me I don't know what it's like to watch my child die!"

I turn, thanking the Lord that in this move my children decided to be funny and create fake medical files containing the reasons for their 'deaths' and that I was their doctor. Without looking back I stalk out the hopital, almost running to my Mercedes (which still has a dent in it, thanks to my two healthy sons) and quickly jump in. However, I don't start the car, simply opting for resting my hands and forehead against the steering wheel. I've really screwed up this time. For a moment I am lost in thought, and am surprised at myself as I practically jump out of my skin as someone opens the car door. "Sorry," Dr Wells apologises quickly. I simply shake my head. "Your wife just called the hospital; you left your phone at home." He takes a deep breath. "Edward's missing."

**Emmett's POV**

We don't know how the little human did it, but he escaped. Somewhere in the chaos of us finding out he was going to die, not knowing what to do because Carlisle didn't (when Carlisle falls apart, we all fall apart), and trying to figure out what to do next, our baby brother managed to open his window, and climb out of it. From what we can tell he managed to stretch from his window ledge to the drain pipe close to it, and that was that. As soon as he was sure none of us had noticed, he made a break for it. Ninja style. Or vampire style... but he's never used the drain pipe before.

Anyway, once Carlisle was alerted we all went looking for him. The girls are going through the forest and Forks with Carlisle, while Jazz and I are already in Port Angeles, as it's been several hours since he left, judging by how long we've been looking for him. Because it rained just after he left, it washed away any trail he left behind.

"If you were Ed, where would you go?" I muse aloud, and Jasper simply sighs. "What? You're more in touch with his emotions than I am."

A small smile twitches at the corners of Jazz's lips, but it fades quickly. "Where we wouldn't expect him to be, most likely."

Just as he says that we stop outside a bar, and Edward's scent invades our nostrils. We share a knowing look before stepping inside. And there he is, sitting at the bar staring down into his half-empty glass of beer. "Who the Hell served you?" I ask by way of greeting, glaring at the bar tender. He pretends not to notice, but I can sense his fear.

"I told the guy about my day," Edward says, with absoulutely no emotion in his voice. "He said he would give me one glass or shot of anything I wanted, but if I wanted anything after that I would have to pay and he would have to see some ID." He sighs, taking a swig of his drink. "I've never had beer before. I remember that just before my parents got sick we had a party, maybe it was a Christmas party, and my mother gave me a glass of champagne and my father gave me a glass of wine, but beer wasn't something we had."

"No, I suppose it wasn't," Jasper says quietly, staring at our brother with worry in his eyes. "How are you holding up?"

A bitter laugh escapes Edward's lips. "Alright, I guess."

We sit with him for a long time, allowing him to finish his drink. Jasper sends a short text to Esme to tell her we've got Edward, but he needs time before we bring him home, and that they shouldn't worry. "Where do you want to go now?" Jasper asks once Edward has finished his drink.

He barely hesitates. "I want to get a tattoo."

I shake my head. "No. Carlisle and Esme will kill us."

"Come on," He groans. "Please."

"Sure," Jazz says, and I turn to glare at him.

"Absoulutely not," I tell both of them. I'd like to make it through the decade without being decapitated by Esme.

Jasper simply grins at me. "Aw Emmett, I though you were meant to be the fun brother. Come on Ed, let's go find a place. I'm sure we'll find somewhere that will do it if we tip them enough."

I can only shake my head and follow them as my younger brother leads my baby brother out of the bar. They're idiots, both of them. I tell them I will have no part of this, and yet I'm the one gripping Edward's hand as he gets something tattooed just below his chest. He made us promise not to look until it was finished, and we closed our ears when he told the guy what he wanted. But when it is finished, we look over before it's covered. We can't help the small laugh that escapes both of us.

"Come on, Ed," Jasper sighs. "Let's get home now."

**Carlisle's POV - One Week Later**

After a long week of discussing treatment and all the other things that we might need or need to do to help Edward, today we are starting chemo. Edward has already expressed a great dislike of needles, so we've decided that the best option for him is a Hickman. It's being put in by Dr Wells under a general anesthetic, and we're just preparing for it. As Edward unbuttons his shirt, however, I catch a small amount of black below his chest. At first I think it's bruising again, so I alert Dr Wells. He takes a look, but then simply laughs and calls me over.

"Oh, Edward," I laugh a sigh as I see. I had thought Jasper and Emmett looked a bit nervous coming home with Edward last week, and now I see why. Just under his chest, on his left side is a tattoo. A tattoo that reads:

**I'm too sexy for my hair. On with the Chemo!**


End file.
